[EFF] I don't know how to talk to my kid

Can be overcome with the ministry of presence

My oldest son and I haven’t hung out in a while.

He’s busy with his last year of high school.

He’s got a girlfriend he’s obsessed with, and wants to be with her all the time (I remember those days).

And he’s got a job at the auto shop that fixed up his birthday gift Christine and I got him.

I think I’m busy? HE is busy. And he doesn’t come home until later at night - when we’re all tired and prone to being short, moody, and least interested in being nagged at.

That, and we’re naturally growing apart, as he starts to make his own way in the world.

It was 10p last night. He came home from being gone all day, and I had a full day of work, too.

He was tinkering with his phone out in the living room…and while my normal routine was to wish him good night and go to bed, I changed the train tracks.

I didn’t know what I was going to talk to him about…but I just said hi, sat down on a chair next to him, and just started tinkering with my phone, too.

Silence for one minute.

Then, he speaks.

We end up speaking for about 30 minutes about cars. I checked in on how he’s managing his money. He tells me about work. I slipped in that he still needs to take care of some shorts - no resistance. We also made plans to visit a friend’s store opening this weekend.

For context, our oldest son is very quiet and doesn’t share much. So this was a miracle.

By the end of the night, I messed up his hair - what I always do to show affection (a kiss is no longer cool for a teenager lol), and asked him to go and wish mom good night and go to bed.

A win for parenting.

It’s a reminder of two things:

• How do you spell “love”? T-I-M-E.

• You don’t need to know what you’re doing or what you’re going to say. Being present is already a big a chunk of the battle. And getting started is sometimes all you need; God, momentum, and the collision dynamic will take it the rest of the way.