It ruined (then bettered) my life [Part I]

Question: What event changed your life?

I'll start:

When my first marriage failed (ouch).

She had an affair (oh, shit).

With my close friend (fawwwwk).

BUT, what started as my worst nightmare, later became the best thing to happen to me.

Read on to find out how, why, and lessons learned.

And this is a two-part series (Part II delivers tomorrow!)

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⌛⌛ BACKSTORY ⌛⌛

The year is 2011.

We’ve dated for seven years, now.

Her family pressured me into marriage.

And at the time, I only had 2 goals:

1️⃣ Achieve a $1M net worth. And

2️⃣ Get married at 27 (I wanted to be a young dad).

There are two problems with goals, however.

Either:

1️⃣ You never reach them, because they’re unrealistic; and you’re discouraged from ever trying again.

2️⃣ Or worse: You get what you want, realize they don’t make you happy;  and you’ve sacrificed the wrong things to reach them.

Welp, I hit my goals.

And I wish I didn’t.

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💩💩 MY MISTAKES 💩💩

📉📉 I LET YESTERDAY DICTATE MY TOMORROW 📉📉

Just because I invested seven years of my life in a relationship...

It doesn’t guarantee a happy future.

As time passes, things change.

Circumstances happen. Preferences evolve.

Seth Godin says:

“Sunk costs are a gift to your past. It has nothing to do with deciding your present and future.”

I never asked myself:

“What’s the best decision to make, with the new information I have, now?”

Failing to answer that, led to my downfall.

⛓️⛓️ I LET OTHERS DICTATE MY LIFE ⛓️⛓️

Just because my friends and family love me and have best intentions…

It doesn’t mean they give good advice.

Their advice is limited at best, and biased from their life and preferences.

Not mine.

🧭🧭 “NORMAL” IS A HORRIBLE COMPASS 🧭🧭

Just because it’s normal…

It doesn’t mean it’s right.

Slavery, smoking on planes, and cars without seatbelts were once “normal”.

Marriage after years of dating may be normal.

But "normal" is subjective and changes like the wind.

💸💸 I HIT MY GOALS...AT A HUGE COST 💸💸

YES,I got married at 27. YES, I hit a $1M net worth.

❌ But I did for the wrong reasons.

❌ I ignored the warning signs.

❌ I gave away too much.

I wanted to show that I was not only successful, but I was faster than my peers.

I avoided the difficult, relationship-building conversations.

The idea of throwing away 7 years and having to start again - even if they weren’t the right person - was inconvenient.

I worked and traveled all the time. 80-hour weeks were normal.

You know how you shouldn't let devices babysit your kids?

Dumbass Me: Because I was busy with work, I let my friend + wife spend waaay too much time, together.

I took my youth for granted and beat the shit out of my body. I contracted gout and became pre-diabetic.

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➡️➡️ WHAT HAPPENED, NEXT ➡️➡️

Look out for Part II, arriving tomorrow!